Monday, December 18, 2006

What's My Line?

As I mentioned earlier in the month (or maybe all the way back in November), I enrolled in a query workshop given by Rosemary Clement Moore through Candace Havens' Write_Workshop Yahoo group. Now, I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you that one of Ms. Moore's suggestions was that we all distill our books to a single sentence, a sort of one-liner we might imagine could be used to describe our story in TV Guide. That one sentence is the "high concept" of the novel.

So, I tried to come up with a high concept. And was hopelessly unsuccessful. Oh, I wrote a few one-liners, but they all sucked like a Hoover on steroids. (That's a darned good phrase, by the way, and I'd use it in my high concept except I'm reasonably certain they had neither Hoovers nor steroids in 1839.)

But one of the problems I kept running up against was whether to write the "high concept" from the hero's perspective or the heroine's. Whose story am I telling here? It seems whichever character I choose, my one-liner must necessarily demote and devalue the other. And to me, at least, it seems I am telling (or trying to tell) both their stories, equally and even-handedly.

The germ of the idea for Living in Sin was so simple, it's hard to consider it a "high concept". I had two characters in my head: a highborn English lady disenchanted by marriage and high society who takes the unconventional step of managing her own estate and a working-class Irishman with a thirst for self-improvement and a disconcerting penchant for achieving noble ends through decidedly ignoble means (that is, con artistry, though the Victorians didn't have that phrase, which is darned inconvenient when writing a novel that involves a con game!). I knew these two people belonged together, but I didn't know how to get them into the same room, much less give them enough time with one another to fall in love.

From that germ came a plot involving a thoroughbred breeding estate brought to near ruin by a thieving steward. The hero's profession became clear: a racehorse trainer who offers his services to the heroine when he discovers his former employer purchased horses stolen from her estate and raced them under false pedigrees. Along the way, the hero concocts a "pig in a poke" scheme to fleece a neighboring landowner who also purchased stolen horses in hopes of ensnaring both the steward and his former boss in the process. And the heroine befriends the local tavern wench, whose insights into life and love offer a striking parallel to her own.

In the final analysis, though, the conflict in the story isn't the plot, but the heroine's certainty that men care more about winning the castle than the princess and the hero's fear of being nothing more than a rich woman's plaything. Pretty conventional stuff, really, except that perhaps the genders are reversed from the typical historical romance.

So, having written all that, I've distilled the most essential elements of the story and characters, but I still haven't found anything I could call a high concept one-liner.

I'm doomed! I'll never write a query letter, LOL!

7 comments:

lacey kaye said...

I had two characters in my head: a highborn English lady disenchanted by marriage and high society who takes the unconventional step of managing her own estate and a working-class Irishman with a thirst for self-improvement and a disconcerting penchant for achieving noble ends through decidedly ignoble means (that is, con artistry, though the Victorians didn't have that phrase, which is darned inconvenient when writing a novel that involves a con game!).

Were you intentionally aiming for a single sentence with that? You almost made me wet my pants!

Now, for the one-liner: you really get a lot of ammo out of your "cares more about winning the castle than gaining the princess" line. I have to put in my two cents, too, and offer that my own one-liner is far more focused on my hero than my heroine. And since I haven't done one yet for RTR let's ride the coattails of the other:

It takes murder, manipulation, and an exotic, caramel-skinned beauty to crack the facade of the ton's only male wallflower, a man who has spent his entire life embarrassed by his notoriously demonic appearance.

That is most definitely focused on the hero. You barely get any information on the heroine at all, but hopefully what you do get is enough to pique your interest. I'd work around the castle line.

If ambition in a man means he thinks more of scaling the castle walls than winning the princess inside, Lady Rosalind would rather entertain her quiet neighbor next door. But it's the (something) man beneath her roof that draws her attention...and what they share would not be condoned by any king...

Ok, that's a tiny bit lame and also two sentences. But it doesn't HAVE to be one sentence - it just has to be interesting and have at least a little bit to do with your story. Elevator speech, woman! That means you have to be able to spit it out before you get to your floor! (Don't worry--we'll get one waaaay at the top so you'll have plenty of time ;-)

Darcy Burke said...

Now you know why I've avoided this like the plague! I haven't even tried to do this for either of my books and the thought of doing so scares the pants off me. I eagerly await your brilliance!!!
Darcy

Jackie Barbosa said...

Were you intentionally aiming for a single sentence with that? You almost made me wet my pants!

LOL, no. At least, not in the sense that I was trying to write anything approaching a high concept. And while it may be a sentence, it way too damned LONG a sentence (not to mention the whole parenthetical thing).

I agree that the castle line is strong and packs a lot of punch. And it distills the heroine's internal conflict down to its most essential element. I *might* be able to make something of that combined with the hero's internal conflict (not wanting to be a noblewoman's plaything)--it pretty much shows why the two of them try so hard to resist one another.

And Darcy, if you're awaiting my brilliance on this one, you're going to be waiting a LOOOONG time!

Erica Ridley said...

I can't do the one sentence thing very well, either...

If it makes you feel better, even online pitch generators contain multiple sentences.

Good luck with your high concept!

Beverley Kendall said...

Karen Kendall said the same thing when she spoke to us in November and she had something snappy like "James Bond meets Queen Victoria in Raiders of the Lost Ark" (something of that sort). I don't have a novel that fits that kind of snappy high concept one liner.

I guess I'll join you because I won't write a query letter either.

Jackie Barbosa said...

Hi Erica! That online pitch generator thing produces some truly AWFUL results. Don't think I'll be using that, LOL!

I really DO want to get my pitch down to one or two sentences (I could live with two relatively short ones), though. And if I can make it half as snappy as Lacey's (which I think is brilliant), I'll be delighted with myself.

And Beverley, I'm with you in not having a book that fits those "This crossed with that divided by the other" kind of lines. But I am going to write a query letter, damn it. Before the end of the year. As soon as I finish my book. Which might even be this week (hope I didn't jinx myself by saying that in writing!)

Chris said...

What's that method, where you pick a single adjective to pair with a single noun? Frustrated Heroine sets out to Verb/Phase, but when Reluctant Hero arrives on the scene, WowFactor ensues.

Blech. But I figure some variant on that sentence is going to click for you at some point.

What if you go at it backwards? Write some review blurbs for yourself -- what's special about your novel? What do you do best? Focus the query pitch there, just keep it character centric, not plot/background centric.