I had a lovely Mother's Day with my family yesterday. After church, my husband and kids took me to Borders where I spent an exorbitant amount of money on new CDs (yes, I'm still old-fashioned enough that I like the actual disc!) followed by a delicious late lunch/early dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant in San Diego's Gaslamp Quarter. We also spent an hour or so with my mother-in-law, drinking coffee and eating copious quantities of See's Candies. (Okay, not really that copious. I was too full from my lunch/dinner.)
I tell you I had a lovely day because, if I didn't, you might misinterpret what I'm about to say as a complaint about Mother's Day. But it's not. I like Mother's Day. Mother's Day is a day to spend enjoying the fact that you're a mother and reveling in your family.
It's just that I also want a new holiday on which all mothers get to pretend, for one day, as if they were not mothers. One day to live completely, utterly, selfishly as though she had absolutely no maternal obligations to anyone. Footloose and fancy-free to do whatever she likes, whenever she likes. (And just to be clear, I'm equal opportunity here. I'm all in favor of a corresponding Un-Father's Day.)
Now, I suppose technically, I could request a day like that as my Mother's Day gift. But that seems rather petty to me. On Mother's Day, I want to pretend I'm not anyone's mother? I want to shut out my kids and go off on my own on the day I'm supposed to be celebrating my motherhood? Nope, doesn't work for me.
But sometimes, I do get tired of being the mom. I'm always on the hook to somebody for something. It's 24/7 and it never stops. So I'd love to have just one day a year when I could chuck it all and act as though my kids didn't exist.
I hope that doesn't sound as if I don't adore and appreciate my kids or that I'm sorry I had them. Because I do adore them and I'm not in the slightest bit regretful that I'm a mother. But for just 1/365th of a year, I think I'd enjoy being an unmother.
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- Jackie Barbosa
- I'm just an average, married, middle-aged mom of three who has been overtaken by the compulsive need to write historical romance novels.
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13 comments:
I think this is a little bit like what Darcy planned! And I can totally sympathize. We should call Hallmark. Don't they like inventing holidays?
Hilarious. I have read other women who said that all they wanted was a day off to write, pamper themselves, whatever. I blogged about the origins of Mother's Day today (instead of the conference. Bad me.) It's quite interesting, really. It was supposed to be a kind of 'Mothers Acting Up' Day. Not 'Mothers Get Cards and Go to Brunch.'
Hehe. I wish there was also a Hobo Day, in which I had 24 blissful hours where I could pretend I didn't have a house to clean, laundry to do, groceries to buy, or impending deadlines for client projects.
*scurries off to write a petition to Hallmark--because when the cards begin, the "holidays" follow...*
P.S.
Bwa, just saw Lacey beat me to the Hallmark comment.
Hobo day! That's like every day in Lacey Land :-)
Well, an umother's day sounds like a groovy idea to me. But I have to say that as a mom whose kids are both living on their own, in different states, I long for the days I longed for an unmother's day!
I did have a pretty fabulous weekend and my college-age son met me in Denver while I was at the Romancing the Rockies conference. He even sat through the Saturday luncheon and was a big hit with the ladies. Several women gave him their cards and offered to act as a substitue "Colorado Mom" (he lives in Boulder)in case he needed a home-cooked meal or washing machine.
Mothering runs deep.
Like I.C., my guys are grown and gone, and every day is an un-mother's day...which really is okay. I know I threw myself into the whole mom-thing when they were young, so I have no regrets. But it's my time now. My mother-in-law used to have a saying, "Glad to see you come, glad to see you go," which sums it up nicely. And I do love them to pieces. I too, wrote a m.d. blog this week! Someday, Jacqueline, someday!
Oh god, I'm with you, Jac. Some days it seems like it never ends, no? I'm tired of being the mom too.
Mothers aren't saints or Mother Theresa, so yes we're human and deserve some well deserved time to ourselves.
Wow -- you summed up my feelings to a T.
I told my husband that yesterday wasn't "mother's" day. . . it was "mom's day with the kids". . . although the day started out nice enough, by the afternoon, it was just like ANY other day of the week. . . sigh.
I really NEED an un-mother's day! So, bring on that petition. . .surely some of Hallmark's decision makers are mother's who need an un-mother's day too!
I did in fact ask for some "me" time in which I planned to write. I'm with Jacq in that Mother's Day seems like it ought to be reveling in the family and in motherhood, but here's the truth: I do that EVERY day. So, is every day Mother's Day? Depends on what you think Mother's Day is. I'd like to think it's whatever you want it to be.
As it happened, I couldn't bring myself to leave and so I wrote in the den amidst the usual interruptions. :-) Ah, motherhood.
Darcy
P.S. I did get out of housework of any kind, which was fabulous!
I got to sleep in and didn't have to cook. But yes, I also long for an unmother's day and plan to have several as soon as I'm no longer nursing the baby. Perhaps a weekend away. Or a week. Maybe two weeks. I could cook and freeze enough casseroles to get them through that.
My trip to NYC was like a un-mother's weekend. It was awesome. I wore makeup and non-sensible shoes! I wasn't wrestling with a stroller! I carried a cute little bag with no diapers in it! I was constantly engorged! And perhaps not coincidentally, I got checked out by guys! For the first time in ... oh, let's not say.
Two nights was just long enough to start missing them again and be really glad to get home. Dallas is going to seem loooooong.
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