Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Return of Query Madness

So, when Lacey, Darcy and I posted our queries a couple of weeks ago, we promised to humiliate...um, help anyone who sent us a query letter. Our first vict...volunteer is Beverley, whom we've known since we all participated in Avon's FanLit contest last year.

Here's how the process went, in Beverley's words:

If anyone ever tells you that writing queries is fun you can be sure of one of three things:

1. They're lying.
2. They've never written a query.
3. They're lying.

Okay, I'm only kidding because I'm sure that for some (I don't know who these crazy people are), it can be very fun. But if the rest of you are like me (a first-timer who didn't know whatthe hell I was doing and didn't really even know what to put in a query), it's a special purgatory. I slaved for an entire week on this ONE PAGE LETTER and did so many revisions I stopped counting. Thank God for the people (and they were many including, of course, Lacey and Jacqueline) who didn't want to see me completely humiliated should I have sent the original out to any of the publishing houses.

And thank goodness I learned something about GMC before starting my 2nd draft!

Just as a reminder, this works like it did before: the original query letter is posted here, while Lacey's comments on it are on her blog. Click here to bring up Lacey's post in a new window so you can read them side-by-side.

In An Honorable Rogue, a sexy Victorian 100,000 word novel, 1 Millicent "Missy" Armstrong2 has known since the age of thirteen who she would marry and when.3 Five years later, the when has arrived, and the who—sinfully handsome, Lord James Rutherford—is one of her brother's closest friends4 and an unapologetic rogue.5 But getting one of London's most eligible bachelors to the altar proves more difficult than she imagines and Missy finds that the road to love is one fraught with the unexpected.6

Once compromising Missy Armstrong would have been one of the worst things that could happen to the heir to the Windmere earldom,7 James Rutherford. The fact that it isn't7 only intimates the incredible predicament he finds himself in when Lady Victoria Spencer claims that he is the father of her unborn child. Not only does James have no memory of the night in question,8 he has no desire to wed. But before a full blown scandal can erupt, the truth behind Victoria's false claim is discovered, freeing James to do the honorable thing.9 What he doesn't expect is the response he receives.10

With rumors of an affair between James and Victoria still swirling thick in society's air,11 Missy is heartbroken and insulted when in a reluctant proposal of marriage from the man she loves,12 James makes it clear that she is not to expect fidelity. Unwilling to share him with other woman, Missy declines. It is only with her refusal that James realizes the love he has long taken for granted. So the tables turn and James, long pursued, becomes the pursuer in a game where the only winner can be love.13

Every writer begins as a reader and I am a testament to that fact having been an avid reader of historical fiction for twenty-five years.14 I am a member of RWA and I belong to the GRW chapter.15 I am currently at work on my second novel.16

Thank you for your time and consideration.17

And now we have the new, improved, and much trimmed version below. The new version of the letter is posted on Lacey's blog with comments courtesy of Darcy below.

  1. A hook!
  2. He sounds like a very bad boy.
  3. Good, conflict.
  4. This restates what I already learned in the first paragraph, but I’ll keep reading.
  5. She’s going to court him? Unusual.
  6. Decisions, decisions. More conflict.
  7. More conflict. Hmmm, can these two get together?
  8. Tough for a rake to do, I wonder how he manages?
  9. He IS a very bad boy!
  10. Lots of potential for conflict and a sustainable plot here.
  11. Great, she’s serious about this.
  12. Hard at work on the next one – and it involves characters from this one. Series can be good for business.
  13. I already know it’s complete from the first paragraph, but it’s nice to know she’s ready to send it at a moment’s notice.
  14. Nice closing.

So, there you have it: a much improved, much hookier query letter that spends more time on the romance than the plot!

We have a couple more query letters in the pipeline that we'll be posting soon. In addition to my blog and Lacey's, however, we'll be adding cross-posts to Erica Ridley's blog. Erica's a member of our little critique circle and rocks at writing hooks. I am not exaggerating here: Erica managed to hook the redoubtable and notoriously unhookable Miss Snark in her last Crap-O-Meter and also liked Erica's first three pages. Ignore Erica's advice on queries at your peril, I say!

So, keep your eyes peeled. More fun is headed your way. (This is fun, isn't it?)

Friday, January 12, 2007

The Best-Laid Plans

If any of you watch my word meters (which I update diligently any day I write, even if I don't blog), you may have notices that the Write-O-Meter for Lady Libertine has stalled at 1,700 words, but the Revise-O-Meter for Living in Sin has been moving steadily toward the right.

I know, I know. I said I was going to write Lady Libertine and worry about revising Living in Sin later. But a funny thing happened on the way to that plan: Living in Sin finaled in another contest and I got so excited about my query letter that I absolutely had to send it to an agent. And even though I don't expect a request for a full from either of the contest or the agent (I believe in underexpecting and overdelivering!), if I were to get one in the coming weeks, it would be so not ready.

After fretting for several days over my manuscript's utter unreadiness for prime time, I realized I had a pretty good feel now for what should go and what should stay, as well as where I needed to tweak to ramp up the romantic conflict. So I decided to set Lady Libertine aside for a couple of weeks and focus on getting Living in Sin down to something approaching a saleable word count. I'm hoping for 105,000 words in this pass, but suspect it'll wind up being closer to 110K. But then I'll hand the whole stinking mess over to my wonderful critique partners for additional suggestions, and maybe on a final pass, I can get it to 105K or even 100K.

So that's what I'm doing with my time. What're you up to?

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Penis Envy

No, I don't suffer from it. Well, except when it comes to the purely plumbing-related aspects. Penises are certainly convenient when you have to take a pee in the forest or alongside the highway!

Really, this is going to be a post about romance novels, I promise. But first, I have to tell you the story that got me started thinking about this topic.

Last night, I was getting my almost-5yo son out of the bathtub when he started repeating, in a sing-songy sort of voice, "Oh penis, oh penis, I love you so much."

Naturally, this made me laugh which encouraged him to repeat the phrase several more times, much to the amusement of his 7yo sister. After reflecting that most men probably feel this way about their penises to at least some extent, I finally thought to ask him why he loved his penis so much.

His response, delivered instantly and without a hint of irony, was, "Because it's so big."

People, he's four! No four-year-old on the planet has a big penis, okay?

But of course, this whole episode got me thinking about penises and, well, size. Courtney blogged a while back about the tendency toward "dick inflation" in romance novels: the hero always seems to have larger-than-average equipment to go along with all his other larger-than-life attributes. And perhaps there's some truth to the notion that size does matter. I know it matters to men. But do women really prefer men with...er, bigger packages? Or is that more of a masculine fantasy?

At this point, I will interject with my personal opinion: It's not the pen, it's the penmanship. And guys who are convinced they have awesome pens, in my admittedly somewhat limited experience, tend to have lousy penmanship.

Question is, am I in a minority of women here? The emphasis on the impressive size of the sex organs of the heros of romance novels would imply that I am. Most romance readers are female, after all, and if big dicks weren't popular with women, it's hard to imagine writers would keep sticking them in their books (or their heroines, for that matter). If women don't care one way or the other, then it seems to me that romance writers are feeding the male obsession with making their penises larger, which is in turn responsible for a large portion of the spam that winds up in my email. And frankly, it seems to me that even men with substantially more there there than the average guy still all want to be John Holmes.

When I write love scenes, I try to concentrate on emotion and physical sensations in addition to stage direction. What I don't dwell on so much is describing my characters' physical attributes. There's really nothing less erotic, in my humble opinion, than a heroine who's getting out her mental ruler to assess the size of her guy's erection before doing the nasty.

So, please, if you don't care how big the hero's dick is as long as its sexy and emotionally satisfying when he gets it on with the heroine, will you let the romance publishing industry know? Take a stand against penis envy in all its forms, I say, including the ones that drive insecure men to watch videos like this one (shudder) or consider cosmetic surgery (bigger shudder).

Believe me, you'll be doing society (and my inbox) a favor!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Query Letter Strikes Again

Lest you think you are suffering from deja vu, let me assure you that this really is a new post. Those of you who joined our little query letter workshop last week may remember that Lacey posted a final version of my query letter on her site while the comments on it resided here. That came after the complete (and somewhat brutal) deconstruction of the original version.

I think I may have mentioned, however, that I wasn't completely happy with that "final" version. It was okay, but the first paragraph just didn't reach out and grab me by the throat. Ergo, I figured it wouldn't grab an agent or editor by the throat, either. So, I pondered and fretted and then I happened to stop by Annie Dean's blog to discover she was doing her Workshop Wednesday post on hooks. And Annie is so clever, she came up with a great hook for Living in Sin inside of about ten minutes. I posted a couple of versions of that hook here last week.

With that hook rolling around in my head, I took a fresh look at the opening of my query letter. I ultimately decided I couldn't use it as my opening sentence, so I had to come up with some way to set up the conflict in the first paragraph without giving away that hooky sentence before I'd even started. After tossing around several ideas with my intrepid critique partners, here's what I came up with:
What’s a duke’s daughter to do when her ideal man arrives on her doorstep in the most unsuitable package imaginable? Lady Rosalind Brighton isn’t sure, but marrying him isn’t it!

Rosalind is facing the unwelcome prospect of being the oldest debutante on the ton’s marriage mart if her thoroughbred breeding estate doesn’t start turning a profit by the start of the Season in just six weeks’ time. Her brother is determined to see her wed to safeguard her future, but to Rosalind, matrimony means surrendering everything—her possessions, her independence, her very person—to some fortune-hunting suitor.

Into the breach steps brash and ambitious Patrick O’Brien, a racehorse trainer with a reputation for handling horses and ladies with equal aplomb and a penchant for pulling the odd swindle. Their business partnership may save Rosalind from the fate she abhors, but his easygoing charm and infectious enthusiasm for life could prove a more serious threat than bankruptcy ever did.

Soon, Rosalind finds herself contemplating behavior no virginal Victorian lady should know about, much less engage in. Imagine her surprise when her desire to live in sin is blocked not by herself, but by Patrick’s unyielding sense of honor. Who would have thought a straight-laced spinster could con a con man out of his heart?
I left out the credentials and last paragraph since they haven't changed. (Well, okay, I added the final in the CONNections Contest, but other than that, they're identical to what I had before).

So, what do you think? Better? I think it's a significant improvement, myself, but I'm open to hearing otherwise. If you have any suggestions to really make it stand up and sing, I'd love to hear them. (That second sentence still bothers me a little, so any thoughts there would be especially appreciated.)

Also, while we're at it, I want to thank the willing victims...er, volunteers who've already stepped up to play future rounds of Kill...er, Critique the Query Letter. We have a couple of letters already in our possession and as soon as we have "final" versions, you'll find new samples on Lacey's and my blogs.

Stay tuned...

Monday, January 08, 2007

I'm a Finalist--Again!

Two minutes ago, I received this in my inbox:

Congratulations! Your Historical entry, Living in Sin, is a finalist in the Connections Award and is on its way to the final round editor judge for placement. Good luck!!!
The final round judge is Tessa Woodward at Avon, who is supposedly looking for Regency and Victorian-set historical romances.

I've been waiting a long time for this announcement. Now, I get to wait some more. Oh goody! (I think.)

On the very plus side, I guess my query letter can list another contest final for my manuscript. That's gotta be a good thing, right?

Friday, January 05, 2007

Let's Do Queries, Day Three

In our third and (as far as we know) final round of Query Letter Madness, I get to take a crack at Darcy's query letter for Notorious. As before, pull up the corresponding post on Lacey's blog to see the original query letter as well as my comments on the final version posted below:

1) This is a great setup that puts the conflict right out there from the get-go, but the last bit is a tad awkward. It sounds like the hero is going to pursue the heroine with some sort of weapon called "a reputation as a cold-hearted prude!" Since the very first sentence in the next paragraph tells us the heroine is a widow, that information probably isn't necessary, so he can just be pursuing a "cold-hearted prude."

2) Can't see anything wrong with this. Tells me right up front I'm going to be looking at a Regency-set historical. If I represent that genre, I know it's up my alley. If not, I'll reject, but not because I don't like the query or manuscript. Nice!

3) No reason for "is entering", which is passive sounding; "enters" will do just fine. "Clouds of rumors" is another slightly awkward phrasing. Otherwise, this is good. We know the heroine is a widow whom people suspect might have killed her husband. Not sure how her father's "outrageous lifestyle" fits in, but maybe we'll come to that later.

4) Okay, I know what her goal and motivation for being in London is, but so what? The reason it's "so what" is because I don't get any sense of why her search for a half-sister is going to result in any conflict between her and the hero. Why can't she search for her half-sister and fall in love at the same time? And there's nothing here to support the first sentence claim that she's a "cold-hearted prude." I need a little more about her before I can care...

5) Wow, that sentence is a mouthful! What does the hero's role as a libertine have to do with the heroine? And is the man his best friend's sister wants to marry suitable? "Flush out" implies the other man is somehow not up to snuff and the faux courtship is intended to prove that. Also, does the hero have a name, or is he just the Earl of Romsey? This wants breaking up and a bit more detail to flesh out the GMC.

6) At first glance, it appears that Violet is the hero's best friend's sister. So why is there a problem? The faux courtship turns real. How does that interfere with the hero's desire to shed his libertine status or the heroine's search for her sister? There's about enough conflict here to last, oh, twenty pages.

7) Gives me title, word count, and market. But wait, she's a newbie.

8) And it took her more than a year to complete a 95K manuscript. Kinda slow...

9) Okay, there's a potential for a series here, but if this book isn't very good, the fact that she's got another one using the same characters isn't encouraging.

10) Nice credentials here. History is a perfect subject for a historical romance writer to have studied and she's a member of the romance writer's organization so she's plugged into the market.

11) The technical writing credit is good. I know now she can string a few sentences together, likely without butchering the language. Not sure what her project management and volunteer work have to do with anything, though. Seems like she has her hands in a lot of pots, though. No wonder it took her a year to complete the manuscript she's pitching!

12)And she's polite...

Overall, this query letter is pretty darned good. The question is whether the "hook" at the beginning and the two subsequent sentences are describing the same story. On a first read, I can see an agent or editor being intrigued. On a second, however, I think she might reasonably wonder where the 95,000 words worth of conflict is going to come from.
And now, we have the new and improved version (comments on Lacey's blog!):

What would happen if the ton's most notorious rakehell pursued Society's most cold-hearted prude? 1816 London is about to find out.1

Fresh from a short-lived marriage to a wealthy merchant, Violet Cavanaugh enters London Society under a cloud of gossip about her husband’s death and her deceased father’s debauched lifestyle.2 Ignoring her notoriety, Violet sets out to find the half-sister she has just learned about – the only person with the potential to be true family. Instead, she finds the Earl of Romsey, her father’s former protege.3 Julian Masters is exactly what she abhors: an unrepentant profligate certain to break her heart.4

Weary of his role as a libertine, Julian would prefer to toss his London life altogether, but he has one last favor to complete before settling into anonymity at his estate.5 He’s promised to engage in a faux courtship with his best friend’s sister to bring the toe-dragging duke she wishes to marry up to scratch.6 When he meets Violet Cavanaugh, however, all of Society can see the fireworks that threaten his plans and her heart.7

Notorious is a completed 95,000 word Regency-set historical. I hold a Bachelor's Degree in History and am a member of RWA. My professional background includes technical writing. I currently serve on the editorial board for an international women’s organization magazine.8

Thank you for your time and consideration.
This concludes our query letter posts for the time being. But stay tuned! There may be more to come in the weeks ahead.

Also, if anyone out there has a query letter she's just dying to have ripped apart in public by the Query-cizers, post a comment or drop a line and we'll work out a way to have at you!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

A Coupla Shout-Outs

Yeah, I know, I know! Way too many posts in one day. But, my travels through the blogosphere have revealed news I simply must share.

First, Ellie Marvel's Birthday is included in Secrets, an anthology now available at Amazon (and possibly at a bookstore near you). Sadly, the Amazon page doesn't do justice to the cover, so I suggest you click here instead. For those who don't know (or haven't figured it out by clicking here back there), Ellie Marvel is another persona of Jody Wallace, aka Typing Slave for meankitty. I've already put this baby in my shopping cart, but I have to find another $15 worth of books to buy so I can qualify for Super Saver Shipping. (Yes, I'm terminally cheap.)

Second, Annie Dean has sold her Average Girl's Guide to Getting Laid! (In a somewhat interesting coincidence, the heroine's name is Ellie. Hmmmm.) She hasn't revealed yet to whom or release dates or anything wunnerful like that, but it's good news and worth sharing. Also, while I'm at it, Annie's got a bit of free fic she's been posting serially to her site, Loser's Waltz. My favorite bit? Well, so far at least, it has to be what Annie makes of the phrase "man-made materials." I'll let you read and find out exactly what!

Anyway, just wanted to hand out some congratulations and blow kisses. No, I swear, it's not that I hope to ride on your coattails! (Okay, maybe a little...)

Here's My Line, Round Three

As if you weren't already sick of reading about my book, but Annie Dean's Workshop Wednesday post on taglines got me thinking about my "one-liner" again. What I had before, though clever in its way, just didn't work very well. Annie made a great suggestion which I tweaked a little to arrive at this:
Who would have thought a straightlaced Victorian spinster could con a con man out of his heart?
I like it because it uses the best line from the query letter, sets the period (Victorian), and lays out the conflict (her uprightness against his naughtiness--even though he's really a very good, noble guy!).

The only thing that concerns me about it is the use of the word "con", which I know is 20th century and American. I doubt many people know that, but it trips me up because I know it! The non-anachronistic alternative here would be "swindle a swindler" but I think that looks too much like the same word twice!

Annie also suggested it could do without the word Victorian, which is helpful but perhaps not necessary. And then we get the nice, alliterative line:

Who would have thought a straightlaced spinster could con a con man out of his heart?

What sayeth the masses?

Let's Do Query Letters, Day Two

So, here's the next installment in our cross-blog, almost-a-workshop query letter process. Today, Darcy (who doesn't have her own blog yet) takes her shots at Lacey's query letter. To see both sides of this, you'll want to open Lacey's blog and resize it so the two sit side-by-side.

Here are Darcy's comments on the original query letter:

1) Dark and mysterious are pretty vague adjectives and a little cliché (perhaps more than a little). As a first sentence, this doesn’t hook me, nor does it tell me anything interesting about the hero.
2) A hero who’s looking for a friend? Snore.
3) Isn’t that what we all want? So far, this hero doesn’t strike me as particularly exciting.
4) Good, tells us important facts about the heroine. Probably not the best intro line to the heroine, but I’ll keep reading.
5) This sentence is totally unnecessary.
6) I’m not at all drawn into caring about the heroine and her conflict (which I’m still not sure about). Most of this paragraph is about her father and since he is neither hero nor heroine, I don’t care.
7) Now this is a much better description of the hero. Mysterious is better used here (without dark it loses its cliché-ness) and wallflower tells us a lot about him. And sexy – bring him on!
8) I’m curious how they develop an “easy friendship.” I see they have conflict because they have two different sets of dreams: he wants a friend and she wants her “unknown” relatives to see past her dark skin. But wait, both want people to see the real them on the inside. Seems like they have exactly the same dreams…their conflict ought to last about five minutes.
9) She can write a book or so once a year. Seems a little slow. And she’s new at this. But nice to know she’s hard at work on the next one.

Overall, this query doesn’t give strong enough pictures of the main characters and their romantic conflict. There also isn’t much plot information. The premise is interesting, but it falls flat without the story and characters to back it up.

Now, we have the new, improved query letter below. This time, the comments are on Lacey's side of the house:

Jonathan Hart, Viscount Rader, is weary of his position as the ton’s scandalous wallflower.1 Determined to overcome his notoriety, he resolves to marry a gentlewoman who can aid his transition from cold aristocrat to approachable luminary.2 But choosing such a woman proves impossible. His silent attention is drawn to the unsuitable but deliciously exotic Lady Kit, 3 and soon she seems to be everywhere he turns.4

If Kitha Wallingford ever thought about the life her father abandoned, it was to wonder how the respected Shawano warrior had ever been the privileged son of an earl.5 Now she knows why he fled. The English are a stodgy lot, and her handsome new neighbor is the worst of them.6 Shy Lord Rader proves an irresistible target for a female used to having her way with men.7 She sees his reserve as a challenge, and stalks him until the obstinate man has no choice but to relent.8

Jonathan’s dream of respectability is dashed the moment he beds the little hellcat. After weeks in her passionate company, forever with anyone else looms like eternity.9 But the minx refuses marriage, saying life is too short to worry about tomorrow, and his deepest fear is unburied.10 His frustration turns into purpose, and the huntress becomes the hunted. It takes murder, manipulation, and a healthy dose of laughter to help his caramel beauty realize marriage isn’t about what might be, but about what is.11

If You Asked the Devil to Dance, my 100K word Regency-set historical, is available in full.12 I’m currently working on the second novel in my Romance with Color trilogy.13 I’m the president elect of my RWA chapter, a winner of Avon’s FanLit contest, an engineer by day,14 and open to editorial suggestion.15
This concludes Episode Two of query letter madness. Stay tuned for more in the exciting saga of Beat Up the Query Letter.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Let's Do Query Letters!

Last week, Lacey mentioned that she, Darcy, and I had been writing (and rewriting) our query letters. Well, this week, we've decided to share our process with you, our loyal readers and fellow writers. I know some of you aren't daunted by queries (for Jody, it's the "sucknopsis" that induces panic), but Pam, bless her heart, actually asked for pointers.

Keeping in mind that our queries will probably change many more times before we're successful at this, you can get a sneak peek into our efforts by click here pull up both blogs side by side. Then you can follow along with the comments on my first attempt at the query and read the final version on Lacey's blog.

(Actually, I have to admit in the spirit of total honesty that this wasn't my first attempt. The first attempt was written at 2am one morning when I couldn't sleep due to a hacking cough. It was about as good as you'd expect something written at 2am to be. Which is to say that, except for a couple of clever sentences, it was pretty darned bad!)

In this version, I tried very hard (and very unsuccessfully) to work in that "high concept" sentence I sweated over a couple of weeks ago. You'll see why it didn't stay...
Dear Agent,

Lady Rosalind Brighton knows knights are more interested in winning castles than princesses, so when her knight turns out to be an Irish racehorse trainer, she faces a thorny dilemma: defend her castle or surrender her heart.1

Being on the shelf may not be fashionable, but it suits Rosalind.2 Marrying, after all, means giving up everything she values: her possessions, her independence, her very person.3 Unfortunately, avoiding matrimony may prove harder than she thought.4 Her thoroughbred breeding estate has been sabotaged to the brink of financial ruin and her brother, the duke, is threatening to put her back on the London marriage mart if she doesn’t right the ship before the start of the Season in just six weeks’ time.5

Into the breach steps the cocky and ambitious Patrick O’Brien.6 His proposal for an unorthodox partnership could save Rosalind’s estate, but his easygoing charm and infectious enthusiasm for life pose a more serious threat than mere bankruptcy.7 She knows she shouldn’t trust him despite his unexpected penchant for altruism.8 Not only is his former employer the man who’s been bad-mouthing her stock, there’s also Mr. O’Brien’s pesky little predilection for pulling the odd con job…9

Living in Sin, a single-title historical (100,000 words) set in early Victorian England, finished third in the 2006 Golden Rose contest sponsored by the Rose City Romance Writers chapter of RWA.10 I am a member of RWA as well as the Hearts Through History and Beau Monde specialty chapters.11 I hold a Master’s degree in Classics from the University of Chicago and write technical training materials by profession.12

Thank you in advance for your consideration.
Now, in addition to the comments on Lacey's blog, let me point out that as I read this again, my immediate impression is "Too long, too wordy." Bleah. This needed work! Fortunately for me, Lacey, Darcy, Janice, and (most especially) Lacey's genius brother, Luke, came to my rescue!

The new version (posted on Lacey's blog) works because:

1) Flipping the last sentence around (not to mention shortening it to the very basics) makes a nice, neat thread: Marriage, marriage, marriage - problem!
2) Ah. By including "the odd swindle" as a characteristic of the hero, his "con man" status doesn't seem to come out of nowhere later on.
3) "Partnering" sounds a lot more businesslike, and "fate she abhors" is some pretty strong wording. She's clearly been driven to desperate measures.
4) Oh! That's what his charm and enthusiasm is endangering. I was wondering :-)
5) Uh-oh. England, we have a problem!
6) And an internal conflict!
7) Now that's just a great line. I mean...story question. Ahem.
8) Nice and short. Same credentials, just tightened until my ADD brain can conceive of them all at the same time.

I should add that I'm still not completely sold on the first sentence and, hey, I'm open to suggestions from the public at large.

Stay tuned for our next round of query madness tomorrow, when someone is going to post a query letter on Lacey's blog and someone else will beat it up here! (We're still discussing who's doing the posting and who's doing the beating.)

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Happy New...Book?

I suppose it's utterly appropriate to begin a new book at the beginning of a new year. I managed to bang out a rough synopsis of Lady Libertine last week and send it to Darcy, Lacey, and Janice, critique partners extraordinaire. They all liked it. Yay!

Now, my most persistent Waterloo as a writer has always been the inability to stick to one story until it's actually finished. I almost inevitably get bored with the story I'm currently writing because a thousand new (and, naturally, better) ones pop into my head and demand my attention. For years, I discarded stories and started new ones almost as often as I did laundry. I've never had problems starting stories; finishing, now that's another story.

So, why am I so daunted at the prospect of writing Lady Libertine? Why do I find myself staring at the blank computer screen, writing a couple of sentences, finding the words don't take me anywhere else, deleting them, and then staring at the blank screen again?

Of course, I have no idea why. Maybe I'm just not completely ready to move on from the book I just finished, although I have to say that the synopsis fell out of my head so easily that it's hard for me to believe that's the issue. More likely, it's just that I've been writing Living in Sin for so long (it took me exactly ten months!), I'm not sure how to tackle writing anything else.

Whatever it is, it's a new and odd sort of writer's block for me. I never have trouble with new beginnings. I suppose there's a first time for everything!

The cure is simple, though: just write! It's good advice. But I was never much of a one for following good advice...

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Done Is Only Just Begun

If you're hoping to be a bonafide published author, writing a completed manuscript is only a little more than a baby step in the right direction. To be sure, it's a step you must accomplish, but in some ways, it might be the easiest one.

As you all know from my incessant musings on the topic, Living in Sin might be finished, but it's not anywhere near being done. Aside from any other issue, it's simply much too long to be saleable in its current form. And this means hefty revisions. It means, in all likelihood, that I'll have to eliminate some secondary characters and their scenes, and invent new (hopefully shorter!) ones using the characters who remain to fill in the gaps in motivation or plot that occur as a result of the cuts. It's a huge task and not one I can say I look forward to.

So I've found other things to do this week instead, and I'm a bit embarrassed to say that they're not the things I promised myself I would do, starting with finishing a project for my paying job that I've been struggling with and dragging my feet on for what feels like months. Oh, I've been working on that project. It's just that I haven't done it at anywhere near the pace or with anything like the exclusivity I told myself I would because I keep getting sidetracked by "writey/publishey" tasks.

It started with taking a stab at my query letter. One of my goals in 2007 is to apply for PRO status through RWA (note that you might not be able to get to this link if you're not an RWA member and signed in to the site) because I'm told it gets you a better priority for appointments with agents/editors at the national convention. And one of the requirements for acheiving PRO status is that you prove you've queried an agent or editor.

Writing a query letter was every bit as hard as I expected. After making an initial attempt at 2:00 a.m. (I was up nursing a tickle/cough I just couldn't shake) that sucked about as much as you'd expect something you wrote in the middle of the night to suck, I went through a series of versions with Lacey, Darcy, and Janice. Just when I thought I'd nailed it, Lacey showed it to her brother, Luke, who instantly tore it apart by saying, "Yeah. So what?" (Thanks, Luke. I think!) Another few rounds later, we got something we all agreed was pretty good, although whether it's good enough to sell my manuscript is whole 'nother thing. It's entirely possible that after a few attempts with this version, I'll toss it out the window and start from scratch.

The weirdest thing about the query letter, though, is that I couldn't find a way to work in that "high concept" sentence you all helped me with last week. It just didn't fit, no matter how hard I tried. Square peg, round hole and all that.

Then, after knocking off the query letter, I started on my character backstories and synopsis for the next book, Lady Libertine. And that, my friends, has been a real kick. Neither the heroine's nor the hero's backstories are written in anything approaching a historical, Victorian voice, which means I'll never get to use them except as my own prompts, but it was so much fun to write something new, to invent new people. Even though the heroine, Amelia, is featured in Living in Sin, we don't find out much about her in that story. Before I could write her book, I had to understand why she's as selfish and vain as she is, why she hates her husband and step-son, and why she's promiscuous. Now I know. And finding out the answers, which just flowed out of me without much thought, as if I'd known them all along when I really hadn't, was definitely interesting and exciting!

The hero's backstory turned out to be even more enjoyable to write, though. Keeping in mind that this is really a rough draft primarily for my own edification, here it is:

Remy Giroux isn’t blessed with his eldest brother’s primogeniture, his middle brother’s religious calling, or his youngest brother’s Midas touch with finances. But the third son of a minor French barony has to make his own way in the world, and Remy has the right stuff to embark on a career in the post-Napoleonic French military: innate physical toughness, a sharp wit, and nerves of steel. The top brass quickly takes note of another characteristic it can use to its advantage: Remy has a surprising facility with languages accompanied by a face and form tempting enough to invite even virtuous women to sin. Remy soon finds himself posted on various ostensibly “diplomatic” missions—to Russia, to Prussia, and to Mother England—with express instructions to gain as much intelligence as possible from the wives and mistresses of the men who control government.

Remy is good at his job, but he finds it has its drawbacks, starting with the inability to ever be honest and ending with the inability to trust anyone, ever. After making the near-fatal mistake of believing himself in love with a woman he’s been sent to shake down only to have her betray him to her government’s authorities, he decides it’s time to get out of the military intel game. But he doesn’t know how to do much besides gain information from unsuspecting marks and so he strikes out in the private intelligence market. It’s not overly profitable, but finding missing people (who usually want to be missing) and misplaced valuables (which usually turn up right where you’d expect them) is a living, and one he doesn’t have to sell his soul to make. At least not until his next client hires him at an exorbitant retainer to retrieve a set of blueprints from beneath the nose of England’s most beautiful and passionate lady.

Hey, it’s dirty work, but someone has to do it.


So, what have you been doing with this curious time between Christmas and New Year's?

Monday, December 25, 2006

Christmas Comes But Once a Year

And thank God for that!

Oh, not because I'm a Scrooge or anything like that. I adore Christmas. And I love watching my kids light up with delight as they open their presents and discover both the things they requested and the things they didn't expect. What I don't enjoy is getting all of those wonderful toys out of the packaging (have they raised Harry Houdini from the dead to design these things so only magicians can open them?) and cleaning up the trash! Oh, and finding a home for all the new stuff. Oy!

Speaking of things you didn't expect, my husband surprised me with a 30 GB iPod. I suppose this means I have actually entered the 21st century. Now if I can only figure out how to use the darn thing!

But the best part of Christmas this year was knowing I'd finished my first manuscript in 20+ years. Thanks to everyone who congratulated me, either here or in personal email, on finishing. You all know who you are!

Friday, December 22, 2006

The Two Best Words in the English Language

Bet you know what they are. And I just wrote 'em.

The End!

Merry Christmas to me! (And you, too, of course.)

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Here's My Line (Round Two)

Okay, so the basic structure of this seems to be holding some water. With input from a variety of sources, here's the new version:

Lady Rosalind Brighton knows knights in shining armor are more interested in winning castles than princesses, so when her knight turns out to be an Irish racehorse trainer with lofty ambitions and an unexpected penchant for altruism, she faces a thorny dilemma: defend her castle or surrender her heart.

Given that it's ideal to cut the sentence to the fewest possible words, however, I wonder whether the following isn't a bit better, length-wise if not structurally:

Lady Rosalind Brighton knows knights in shining armor are keener on winning castles than princesses, so when her knight turns out to be an ambitious Irish racehorse trainer with an unexpected penchant for altruism, she faces a thorny dilemma: defend her castle or surrender her heart.

What sayeth the masses?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Here's My Line (Round One)

Okay, I made my first stab at this. I don't know if it's great, but I don't think it bites like a pit bull with a raging case of rabies, either.

(Deep breath) Here goes:

Lady Rosalind Brighton knows that knights in shining armor are more interested in winning the castle than the princess inside, so when her knight turns out to be an Irish racehorse trainer with lofty ambitions and an unexpected penchant for altruism, she’s faced with a thorny dilemma: surrender her heart, her castle, or both.

Okay, maybe it does blow. But it's a start, right?

I'm open to suggestions here...

Monday, December 18, 2006

What's My Line?

As I mentioned earlier in the month (or maybe all the way back in November), I enrolled in a query workshop given by Rosemary Clement Moore through Candace Havens' Write_Workshop Yahoo group. Now, I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you that one of Ms. Moore's suggestions was that we all distill our books to a single sentence, a sort of one-liner we might imagine could be used to describe our story in TV Guide. That one sentence is the "high concept" of the novel.

So, I tried to come up with a high concept. And was hopelessly unsuccessful. Oh, I wrote a few one-liners, but they all sucked like a Hoover on steroids. (That's a darned good phrase, by the way, and I'd use it in my high concept except I'm reasonably certain they had neither Hoovers nor steroids in 1839.)

But one of the problems I kept running up against was whether to write the "high concept" from the hero's perspective or the heroine's. Whose story am I telling here? It seems whichever character I choose, my one-liner must necessarily demote and devalue the other. And to me, at least, it seems I am telling (or trying to tell) both their stories, equally and even-handedly.

The germ of the idea for Living in Sin was so simple, it's hard to consider it a "high concept". I had two characters in my head: a highborn English lady disenchanted by marriage and high society who takes the unconventional step of managing her own estate and a working-class Irishman with a thirst for self-improvement and a disconcerting penchant for achieving noble ends through decidedly ignoble means (that is, con artistry, though the Victorians didn't have that phrase, which is darned inconvenient when writing a novel that involves a con game!). I knew these two people belonged together, but I didn't know how to get them into the same room, much less give them enough time with one another to fall in love.

From that germ came a plot involving a thoroughbred breeding estate brought to near ruin by a thieving steward. The hero's profession became clear: a racehorse trainer who offers his services to the heroine when he discovers his former employer purchased horses stolen from her estate and raced them under false pedigrees. Along the way, the hero concocts a "pig in a poke" scheme to fleece a neighboring landowner who also purchased stolen horses in hopes of ensnaring both the steward and his former boss in the process. And the heroine befriends the local tavern wench, whose insights into life and love offer a striking parallel to her own.

In the final analysis, though, the conflict in the story isn't the plot, but the heroine's certainty that men care more about winning the castle than the princess and the hero's fear of being nothing more than a rich woman's plaything. Pretty conventional stuff, really, except that perhaps the genders are reversed from the typical historical romance.

So, having written all that, I've distilled the most essential elements of the story and characters, but I still haven't found anything I could call a high concept one-liner.

I'm doomed! I'll never write a query letter, LOL!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Tagged Again!

I have to thank Lacey for supplying me with today's topic, as I'd have been hard-pressed to get an entry done today otherwise. (Holiday insanity has hit full-bore and I'll barely have more than an hour of computer time today if I'm lucky!)

Four jobs I've had:

  1. Girl Scout camp counselor
  2. College dormitory maid
  3. Technical writer
  4. Instructional designer
Four places I've lived:
  1. San Diego County (during childhood and now)
  2. Santa Cruz, CA (college)
  3. Dublin, Ireland (college year abroad)
  4. Chicago, Illinois (grad school)

Four favorite foods:

  1. Sushi
  2. Mexican
  3. Any Mediterranean cuisine (ideally while in the Mediterranean)
  4. Okay, I admit it, all foods are my favorites (with the notable exception of brussel sprouts!)
Four movies I could watch over and over (some of which I often do because my kids watch them):

  1. The Princess Bride
  2. All That Jazz
  3. Blazing Saddles
  4. Any movie ever made by Pixar
Four TV shows I enjoy (do these all have to be current, I wonder? I hope not, because if so, I'm cheating!):

  1. Curb Your Enthusiasm
  2. PBS's Mystery series
  3. Nova
  4. Star Trek: The Next Generation
Four Places I've Traveled (Only four? So limiting! I have to find a way to sneak in more, because I'm an inveterate traveler):

  1. Every US state except Alaska, Maine, and (I think) Rhode Island
  2. Asia (Bangkok, Hong Kong, Macau, and Canton)
  3. Europe (England, Ireland, Belgium, Germany, France, Spain [twice], Italy [three times], Greece [twice])
  4. Mexico (Tijuana and surrounding, Puerto Vallarta, Zihuatanejo, and Mexico City)
Four websites I go to (almost) daily:
  1. Lacey Kaye's Fantabulous Blog
  2. Romantic Inks
  3. Online Etymology Dictionary
  4. Slate Magazine
Four people I'm tagging to do this, too:
  1. Lainey Bancroft
  2. Annie Dean
  3. Pam Skochinski
  4. Jody Wallace
Of course, you can do it even if I didn't tag you!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

AWOL

I know I was AWOL on Monday. Sorry about that. I had the stomach flu. As have all of my children and my husband. Such fun it's been around here the past few days. And I have absolutely nothing interesting or funny to write today. Just posting to reassure anyone who was worried that I'm still alive. (Ah yes, my public. All ten of you, LOL!)

Love everyone's Spice Girl names. Keep 'em coming!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

If You Were A Spice Girl

I know, I know. I didn't blog on Friday. I always try to blog on Friday, but yesterday, it was just not happening.

Today's entry will be short and sweet. I have Darcy to thank for this topic. She told Lacey and me in email yesterday what her name would be if she were a Spice Girl. I won't tell here (if she wants to tell you, she can comment!), but I've decided mine would definitely be Flaky Spice.

Maybe this is why I can't finish my book--too flaky!

Okay, share! What would your Spice Girl name be?

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Benign!

Whew!

The doctor called during dinner. We normally don't answer the phone at dinner time but I made an exception because I thought it might be him.

He's really a great doctor and so nice/reassuring. I love him to pieces. Even more because he called me at 7:00 at night to give me peace of mind.

Good night!

If You're Waiting for Results...

...well, join the club. Because I haven't heard either.

I was told they'd be in yesterday or today and that I'd surely have a call from my doctor today with the biospy results. When I hadn't heard anything by 3:30, I called myself. The receptionist says the results are there and the doctor will call me back either today or tomorrow morning.

Of course, being me, I promptly freaked out. And I haven't quite stopped freaking out. I'm sure that if the results were anything other than benign, they'd want to let me know as soon as possible, so I should be taking their apparent lackadaisacal attitude towards informing me as a good sign. But I'm a headcase, so of course, it's just making me crazy.

The radiologist who took the sample told me I could call her for results if I didn't hear from my doctor, so I tried that. Got placed on hold for a long time and was then told she was with a patient and she'd call me back to tell me.

It's now after 5:00, both offices are closed, and no one's called me. Will I sleep tonight? I have my doubts...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

100%, But Not Done, Darn It!

So, I hit my projected page count of 510 about 15 minutes ago. And have realized I have at least one and possibly two more chapters to write. This ending just doesn't want to be rushed!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Thank God, It's Monday!

Okay, I know that's not a popular sentiment. But I love Mondays. Much more than Fridays, in fact.

I particularly love the Monday when my former housekeeper comes back to work for me after a six month hiatus. I could never bring myself to hire someone else to clean for me because she knew us so well and did such a wonderful job, but I simply couldn't keep up myself. And I knew once her new baby got a bit older, she'd want to come back, so I couldn't bear to fire someone else to hire her back.

Anyway, six months of dust and grime has been lifted from my shoulders, and it might as well be the weight of the world.

Obviously, I haven't had any word yet on the biopsy, but I want to thank those of you who dropped by and left me comments and well-wishes. I haven't heard from Beverley or Laura since FanLit, so it was sweet of them to stop by. (Beverley, if you want to use the wordcounter I use, you can find instructions at http://www.writertopia.com/toolbox/meters. It's so easy, it's scary!)

The most painful part of the whole experience turned out to be untaping myself. The medical tape actually pulled off the top layer of my skin in spots. Ouch! The small puncture from the needle turned out to be nothing by comparison. Well, except for the time when my 4yo decided to dive on me and stick his elbow right there!

Meanwhile, I continue to make slow (painfully, inexorably slow) progress towards the end of Living In Sin. Today I may exceed 1,000 words, but I typically don't get out much more than 500 and some days, it's less than that. But something is something.

I know at this point I won't be done when I reach 510 pages. I'll be lucky to finish at 525 pages! But I'm not changing the word meters any more. I'll just overshoot them and when I'm done, I can be 110% finished instead of 100% finished. (That's got to be better, right?)

Friday, December 01, 2006

The Saga Continues

Since I posted on Wednesday about the lump and freaked ya'll out (well, Lacey anyway, apparently!), I thought I'd better post an update since I've had my mammogram and ultrasound.

The mammogram (aka "mashogram") on Thursday was uneventful. I didn't talk to the radiologist afterwards, just was told to have my ultrasound the following day, which told me they saw something. (I looked at the films myself on the off chance I could understand them. I mean, I did once read my oldest son's x-rays and knew instantly that his arm was broken! But it all looked like...I don't know...tissue to me!)

This morning, I had the ultrasound and, again, it all looks on the monitor like tissue to me. (Not like a cute, waving little peanut/baby, which is my only other experience with ultrasounds. At least breast ultrasounds don't require the Chinese Water Torture experience.) The radiologist reviewed the films and then did her own scan. She said the mass was "very non-specific", which I could certainly agree with, since everything on the screen looked pretty non-specific to me.

Her guess is that it's an inflamed milk duct and when I told her I'd only quit nursing at the beginning of the year, she thought that made the explanation even more reasonable. But, she said, while it didn't "look like cancer", it didn't look like for sure "NOT cancer", so she wanted to do a needle biopsy just to be sure.

The good news is the needle thing, while looking scarier than hell, didn't hurt at all after I was anesthetized. It does make a rather startling snapping sound when they take the tissue sample, though, that makes you think it hurts even when you don't feel it.

So now I'll all patched up with steristrips and tape and an ice pack. So far, it actually itches more than it hurts, though it's a bit tender, I'll admit.

Of course, no writing has been accomplished thus far today and the rest of the day isn't looking much better. I've got to get all the awards ready for tonight's cub scout Pack meeting plus help my son put a casserole together (it's a potluck) and then actually go to the meeting. See what I mean about life.

Results of biopsy expected by Wednesday. I'll keep you posted!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Confession Is Good for the Soul

Or so they say. And I'm feeling confessional today.

The closer I get to the end of my book, the harder it's becoming to write. That's not because I don't know where the story is going. Au contraire, I know exactly what has to happen between now and the end. And perhaps because I'm very much a pantser when it comes to writing, my certainty is getting in my way. It's just not as much fun to write when I know precisely where I'm going, in the same way it wouldn't be as much fun to read if I knew exactly how the story would turn out. (Hmmm, I think I've just had a revelation as to why I'm more of a pantser than a plotter!)

It's just as likely, however, that I'm a little afraid to finish. Paradoxical as that sounds, since I want to finish this book if for no other reason than to prove that I can, I suspect there's an element of truth here.

Because, first of all, finishing means saying good-bye to my characters in some fundamental sense. Yes, Patrick and Rosalind will likely make appearances in other stories in the future, but once they reach their "happily ever after", their story is over. And there's something just a little sad about that, especially after spending the last nine months in their company trying to get them to their "happily ever after."

More than that, though, I think I'm a little afraid to finish because it means it's time to start doing the work to actually get Patrick and Rosalind published and out in the world. It means revisions. (I know some writers prefer revising to writing, but I am not one of them. In a perfect world, my first draft would be my last. Obviously, the world will never be perfect...) And it means writing the dreaded query letter.

I know it's the idea of writing a synopsis that makes many writers shiver in their boots, but for me, it's the query letter that represents my greatest single fear in life. (I should mention here that I have absolutely no fear of speaking in public. I can get up in front of a room full of a thousand people and feel as comfortable as I would if we were sitting down for a chat in my kitchen over a cup of coffee. Assuming I'm prepared, of course. Don't ask me to do it off-the-cuff when I'm not expecting it. But I digress.)

Query letters scare me because so much rides on them. How can I distill my characters and story into a single page that's snappy and witty enough to convince an agent or editor that it's worth requesting my partial (or better yet, a full)? I mean, let's be honest here: even if I manage to cut 100+ pages out of my manuscript during revision, it takes me 400 pages to tell the story. And you want me to get that down to ONE page? Oy vey!

I'll admit that a great attraction of the contest route in my mind is the potential to get my partial read by an editor and, from that, to get a request for a full. All without having to write the dreaded query letter.

You can see that this terrifies me. More, in fact, than the lump I found in my left breast last week.

Ah, yes, I told you I was in a confessional mood.

I discovered this lump because it was quite painful--it hurt when I was toweling off after my shower on Thanksgiving morning. I kept quiet about it and didn't panic for several reasons, not the least of which was that I knew there wasn't a blessed thing I could do about it on Thanksgiving Day.

The lump has already shrunk quite a bit and it's not nearly as painful any more. I saw my doctor yesterday who reassuringly confirmed my suspicions that it was very unlikely to be cancerous for all the reasons I'd already come up with, those being:
  1. It hurt, and cancer usually doesn't hurt until it's very advanced.
  2. The lump coincided with my period.
  3. I'm at an age when breast cancer is extremely rare unless there's a genetic factor, and
  4. There is zero history of breast cancer among any of my female relatives (which sort of goes with #3).
He's pretty certain it's a benign cyst and I tend to agree. I'm still going for a diagnostic mammogram (tomorrow) and an ultrasound (Friday) to verify that it is a cyst, but I'm pretty certain everything will turn out just fine.

Still, the thought of it has been sapping a fair amount of my emotional and intellectual energy over the past several days, which could be another reason I haven't been able to power through to "The End."

There are also three other reasons. Yesterday, I said I'd been on the Interruption Express all day, not least because of these three reasons:

Monday, November 27, 2006

One Chapter and an Epilogue

That's all that stands between me and "The End." Well, that and a complicated thing called "life!"

But I've written every day for the past week except Thanksgiving and even if it's only a couple of pages a day, my write-o-meter keeps inching (centimetering?) to the right. Daily feedback from Lacey and Darcy has definitely helped me stay motivated and reasonably comfortable that I'm pointed in the right direction when it comes to wrapping up this little monstrosity.

And when I'm done, you ask? Well, I'm definitely not going to Disneyland (although my kids would no doubt be thrilled if I decided that would be my reward).

No, my reward to myself will be to synopsize the next two books in the series, Lady Libertine and The Book with No Name. And then I'll decide which one to write first or whether to write them side-by-side. And after I finish one of them, I'll likely come back and revise Living in Sin. Because I'm going to need to get rid of roughly 100 pages and I'll be way too close to it come the end of next week to be that brutal!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Let's Talk About Sex, Part II

Okay, so it's a day late. But hopefully not a dollar short.

Your responses to the first post on this subject made me want to write a second. However, now that I'm actually writing it, I'm not exactly sure what it was I wanted to say. I feel a bit like a car that has a funny noise right up until you get it into the mechanic's shop, at which point, it stops making it!

However, one of the questions I asked was about the differences between the "genres": romance versus erotica, erotic romance, and romantica. Alice seemed to think there wasn't a difference between the last three. I have no idea, since I've never read anything that fell into any of those three categories! But I have read that one of the distinctions between romance and the other three is supposed to be in how graphic the language is. The more "dirty" words, the more "erotic" seems to be the theory.

The problem I have with that definition is that it seems to me that mainstream romances these days pretty well include all the dirty words, although perhaps at a slightly less frantic pace! In newer historicals, at any rate, c*cks and clitori abound. And frankly, I prefer that to the "manhoods" and "members" and "hoods of Venus" I remember from the romances I read two decades ago.

Another question I had was about whether or not the degree of explicit sex we're seeing now in romances and the related genres will ever ramp back down in popularity. Lacey asked whether there were ever that many sweet, traditional romances. Well, aside from referring to Jane Austen, I do recall the first romances I read were contemporary Harlequins and the hero and heroine never did more than kiss until they were married, and even then, the references were pretty oblique. I got bored of those pretty quickly, but it does seem to me that those kind of stories wouldn't be publishable now except, perhaps, as inspirationals or by very small market presses and e-publishers. I could be wrong about that, though.

Lainey has it right when she says romance is all about emotion. though. I couldn't agree with that more. I do feel, however, that a well done love scene demonstrates and amplifies emotion in ways other types of interactions between the hero and heroine can't. And if it's really well done, a love scene can even heighten, rather than relieve, sexual tension. Which is probably why I like them!

And as of yesterday, I finished writing "the Big One" in Living In Sin. I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out, too. Is it explicit? Oh yeah. Is it emotional? Damn, I hope so. Does it up the ante between the characters? Definitely, but in ways the reader might not completely understand until she gets to the next chapter.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Let's Talk About Sex

In romance novels, of course.

I have to admit, I take it practically as a given that a romance novel includes "on-screen" sex. While I realize there are readers (and writers, of course) who prefer their characters "get a room" when the moment comes, I am definitely not one of them. Part of what makes a romance satisfying for me is being in the characters' heads at the most intimate moments in their relationship. And there is no more intimate moment, no moment more demanding of trust, mutual respect, and caring, than sex.

As it happens, I don't believe in casual sex. Or, put another way, I don't think sex is ever truly casual. Certainly, good sex isn't.

Oh, I'm sure there are folks out there who would disagree with me just as I disagree with the "no public displays of affection in my romance novel, please" contingent, but it's my proposition that physically and emotionally satisfying sex can only happen between people who can completely give themselves up to one another, foregoing ego and inhibition in the pursuit of mutual pleasure. Love isn't required, but I believe affection is, and people who hook up in a bar or at a party for a one-night stand can't possibly care about each other, however hot they may be to get into one another's pants.

My point here isn't to bust on folks who believe in and enjoy casual sex, though. It's to explain why onstage, explicit, hot sex is an essential element of a romance novel for me: it demonstrates how deeply the hero and heroine care about each other, even if they haven't realized it themselves yet. I want to be there, feeling what they're feeling. It's the ultimate "show."

Now, don't get me wrong: the hero and heroine don't have to fall in bed with each other either early or often for me to find a romance satisfying. Nor do the love scenes have to go on for pages and pages. Some of the best, hottest love scenes I've ever read were only a page or two in length. Loretta Chase is a master of this. Two of my critique partners, J and Lacey, also write hot, short love scenes, but since neither of them are published, you can't read them yet. As their critique partner, I'm one of the few, the proud, and the lucky!

The best romances, in my opinion, build sexual tension for quite a while before the characters finally give into their desires. If the payoff happens before the level of emotional connection between the hero and heroine justifies it, the love scene will fall flat. I've read a few romances where the author deftly managed to create a believable and satisfying love scene between characters who scarcely know one another (e.g., Mary Balogh's Slightly Wicked and Lisa Kleypas' Devil in Winter), but by and large, it's difficult to do well enough that it works for me as a reader.

I find it even harder to do as a writer: it took me eight chapters to get to the first kiss in my WIP and another eleven after that to get to something you could reasonably call sex (and it's not even consummation!). After the nineteenth chapter, things get hot and heavy fairly fast and frequently, but I simply couldn't bring these characters to fall into bed with each other before their emotions caught up with their physical attraction.

Of course, it doesn't help that I find love scenes exceptionally difficult to write. Not because I am shy about them, but because it takes immense effort on my part to describe what is going on in my characters' heads and bodies without resorting to hackneyed, worn-out cliche. (You may remember that I never met a cliche I didn't like. It's true. Which makes it even harder to avoid them in love scenes!)

All of this musing is appropo of the fact that I have just reached the point in my story where my hero and heroine are about to do the horizontal hula for the first time. They've had some previous sexual encounters, but they have so far not achieved the whole enchilada. And, as usual, I'm hella intimidated by the prospect. Because I know it is the ultimate show and I want to get it just right.

So, what about you? Do you like your romance novels hot and steamy or a bit more oblique? Do you think the trend in the industry--which has unquestionably been toward hotter and steamier in recent years--will continue or will the sweet, traditional romance come back into fashion? And do you even understand the distinction between romance, erotic romance, erotica, and romantica?

Thursday, November 16, 2006

A Little More NoNo than NaNo

This week's writing progress has been somewhat less than spectastic: only eight pages in the past three days. I put this down to a combination of burnout from last week's NaNo pace, the new additions to the family, and the fact that I'm writing the pivotal chapter in the story: the Black Moment.

My normally dictatorial characters, who regularly push me around and tell me what they will and won't do or say, have suddenly become very taciturn and unhelpful, perhaps because they think I am cruel to to torture them with this black moment in the first place. "Just skip right through to our HEA," they demand.

But, of course, I can't do that. The Black Moment, when the reader wonders how the hero and heroine will ever surmount the obstacles that divide them and live happily ever after, is as essential to a romance novel as a murder is to a murder mystery. Without a Black Moment, a romance novel would be little more than a voyeuristic foray into someone's nice life. And aside from being weird, it would just be boring.

And so, I have to put my characters through theirs, kicking and screaming. No one ever said this would be easy!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Awwwww Factor

I didn't get as much writing done today as I'd originally hoped. For lots of reasons. First, I was released from jury duty by 10:30, much earlier than I'd originally expected. You'd think that would be a good thing, but unfortunately, it meant I had to do real work: less than an hour after I got home, I had to attend a departmental meeting (by conference call) that sucked up another hour and change of my time. And then there's the fact that I am writing the Big Black Moment, and it's just slow going.

But there's another reason. Well, two actually:


Aren't they adorable? A friend of the family brought them home from the school at which she teaches, where they were found today. We don't know if their mother was feral or whether they were abandoned, but they seem to be only about five weeks old, which is too young to be without their mom. Fortunately, they seem to be eating solid food all right, so they should be okay. (Although I'm a little nervous about whether they'll get the hang of the cat box right away.) They're both boys and as yet unnamed; they're so little and unformed, it seems foolish to name them before they develop some personality.

We've been talking about getting a cat/kitten ever since one of the three we had disappeared back in July. I didn't initially think I'd take both of these little guys, but when I called my husband to clear taking one with him, he told me to take them both. Awwwwwww!

So, how was your day?

Monday, November 13, 2006

Why Historicals?

I've been asked this question more than once since revealing that I am writing a historical romance novel (and as often from other romance novelists as from non-writers), so I figure it must be a fairly common one. The question is usually prefaced by one of the following observations:
  1. I could never write a historical. The research just seems so daunting.
  2. I could never write a historical. The research would bore me to tears.
  3. I could never write a historical. The research takes too long.

Are you sensing a pattern here, LOL? Now, I'm not dissing on writers who choose contemporary or paranormal or chick lit or any other romance-related genre because they don't want to do the research it takes to write a historical. (Frankly, I'd find the amount of world-building it takes to write a satisfying paranormal much more intimidating, but I digress.) But I do think an interest in and a willingness to do research (though perhaps less than some folks imagine) is an essential characteristic of the historical romance novelist. And it doesn't surprise me that it's something I enjoy.

You see, in one of my former lives, I was a Classicist. I spent five years as an undergraduate and another three as a graduate student studying Greek and Latin literature, as well as classical history, religion, art history, and archaeology. Which means I spent a lot of time doing research. And I loved it. It was fascinating, marvelous stuff. So much that I fully expected to be a Classics professor at some rinky-dink college somewhere in the midwest until I could work my way up to a full professorship at a more prestigious institution.

What happened, you ask? Life! I met my husband when I was home for Christmas in 1989 and we married the following year. I was done with my masters at that point and started to work on my dissertation proposal when the economy struck. My husband took a big pay cut and I had to go to work full time. And the rest, as they say, is history. I took off on a new career path in technical writing and instructional design and never looked back. (Well, almost never. When I hears a technique for reading previously illegible portions of the Oxyrhynchus Papyrus had been discovered and expanded by roughly 20% the codex of ancient literature, I was mightily tempted. Unfortunately, it would probably take me several years just to get my Greek and Latin back up to snuff. You lose a lot in 15 years!)

Now, I don't write historicals just because it gives me an opportunity to do research. The truth is, I just find it much easier to create sexual tension and conflict in a historical setting where good girls really don't, social status is much more rigidly defined, and the rules are stricter and much more stringently adhered to. I can't dream up a contemporary story line to save my life. Historical story lines pop into my head on an almost daily basis.

But the research is a part of what I enjoy. I don't research every single aspect of my story's setting, of course. I wouldn't ever get any writing done if I did that. Instead, I write until I hit a point where I realize I don't know how the actors should behave (e.g., the etiquette of calling cards) or whether some historical event might conflict with a detail in my story (e.g., the date of Queen Victoria's marriage to Prince Albert). Then I look up what I need to know, read it, deal with it, and move on.

One aspect of my story I did have to do a bit more research on, however, was British horseracing in the early Victorian period. My hero is an Irish racehorse trainer, my heroine a breeder. Initially, this was merely a conceit to bring together two people who would otherwise never know one another: a working class man and the daughter of duke. But it quickly became an important and essential part of the story. I still don't know as much as I'd like to about British horseracing during that period, but I've come across some fascinating historical details that completely validated some aspects of my plot that I'd been a bit concerned might be implausible.

One of those details is that the hero's former employer substituted an ineligible horse for an eligible one by claiming the ineligible horse was the eligible one. (How's that for a convoluted sentence?) I wasn't sure this was feasible, however, until a few weeks ago when I discovered that the winner of the Derby in 1844 was disqualified for exactly this reason. And since my story is set in 1839, the facts line up almost perfectly. The character in the story initially gets away with his fraud until it is revealed at the end, after which the Jockey Club (horseracing's governing body) will be more alert in future. Which is perfect when mated with this little piece of historical fact (from http://www.tbheritage.com/Portraits/Gladiator.html):

It was a Gladiator colt of 1840, MACCABEUS, who was used by his unscrupulous owner, Goodman Levy, to run in Orlando's Derby of 1844, substituted for the three year old Running Rein. Maccabeaus (a.k.a. Running Rein in this race) won, but subsequent inquiries in the notorious court case following the protests lodged by Orlando's owner, Colonel Peel, proved "Running Rein" to be the four year old Gladiator colt. Lord George Bentinck, a member of the Jockey Club, who had declared war on the crooks and defaulters of the turf in that era, was instrumental in exposing the fraud and pursuing those involved in the deception.

It's a case of fiction filling in a missing piece of fact. Which totally tickles me.

After I learned about Maccabeus, one of my critique partners came across an even more fascinating detail about Bloomsbury, the winner of the Derby in 1839. It turns out there was a kerfuffle over that horse's eligibility to race on the grounds that his nominating papers incorrectly identified his sire. Better than that, Bloomsbury's owner when he won the Derby was also his trainer, a Mr. William Ridsdale. And just like that, the following scene was born:

“I understand you were at Epsom Downs for the Derby, Mr. O’Brien. Do I have that a’right?”

Patrick snapped his gaze to Viscount Hamptondale. The gentleman regarded him with friendly brown eyes. He did not appear to have noticed Patrick’s moony-eyed reverie. “Aye.”

“Perhaps you could explain to me, then, the rumpus over Bloomsbury’s pedigree. It was in the papers, of course, but then I gather the matter was dropped and I never quite understood the problem.”

Patrick’s gloom lifted a fraction. The question of Bloomsbury’s parentage had been the scandal of the Derby. “’Twas a problem in the nomination papers Ridsdale originally filed for the race. They didn’t match the General Stud Book.”

Hamptondale’s forehead wrinkled. “I gathered as much from the newspaper reports, but as I understood it, Ridsdale named one horse as Bloomsbury’s sire while two are listed in the book. But since the sire he named is one of the two in the book, I’m at a loss to understand why this would be grounds for disqualification.”

“’Tis a matter of verifying a horse’s eligibility to race. Since only listed animals are eligible to race, nomination must be precise to ensure accuracy. When Ridsdale entered Bloomsbury with Mulatto as his sire, rather than Mulatto or Tramp as in
the stud book, it raised the possibility that the horse entered was not the one listed in the book.”

“It seems a petty matter. Does it happen often that breeders enter ineligible horses under false pedigrees?”

Patrick felt the sting of righteous indignation in the center of his chest, along with the corresponding salve of his soon-to-be-delivered retribution. “Aye, it happens. And I’m sorry to say the perpetrators are rarely caught.”

“Do you think Mr. Ridsdale is guilty of such a crime, or merely of having made a mistake?” This query came from Lady Hamptondale. She regarded him with wide, aquamarine eyes so like Rosalind’s, he was briefly jolted by the resemblance.

He shrugged. “I could not say, my lady. I can say there are not many who consider Mr. Ridsdale and his brother to be a beneficial influence on the sport.”

“And why is that, Mr. O’Brien?” Aylsbridge drawled icily. His contempt was palpable.

Patrick gritted his teeth and swung his gaze to his host. Although he doubted the Hamptondales or Lady Cordelia understood the duke’s implication, Patrick did. Robert and William Ridsdale were commoners. The former had made his fortune as a gambler, the latter as a racehorse trainer. Their honesty was naturally suspect. As was Patrick’s.

“It is because they have shown themselves unworthy of trust by their behavior, your grace. As have other breeders I could name, were I so inclined.” Starting with Ashbourne. Suddenly, Patrick discovered one more reason to relish Ashbourne’s well-deserved fall from grace: a certain duke’s comeuppance.

“But you are not inclined,” Aylsbridge returned, his eyebrow arching skeptically.

“No, your grace. After all, I believe gentlemen do not disparage one another unless they can substantiate their criticisms.”

Aylsbridge lifted his glass and tilted it in Patrick’s direction, the tiniest hint of a smile touching his lips. “Touché, O’Brien. Touché.”

Now, a question for my beloved readers (all three of you :->): Does it matter to you whether your historical novels contain elements of historical fact like these, or do you care more about the feel of the historical setting? Does it bother you if the author makes up historical facts or alters them to suit her story?

N.B.: This has relevance to Living in Sin, since I have already altered history by having a non-existent filly place second in the Oaks in 1839 and need to have her win another race at the end of the story. And one of the things I'm still chewing over is whether to have her win a real race and thereby rewrite history or whether to invent a race and thereby add a fictional race to a well-documented race history. Tough choice!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

The End Is Nearer...

...but not near enough, damn it!

I know, I know. Write, don't blog. But the next scene isn't quite formed enough in my head yet, so this blog post is really procrastolation1.

I was hoping to finish this weekend or Tuesday at the latest, but I can see it won't happen. I thought I could pull off a chapter each day for three days and get to the end, but that turned out to be non-starter. Time isn't the issue, I've discovered. Rather, it's that I can only write somewhere between six and eight pages a day before I go into synaptical meltdown. Even if I have more story clearly defined in my head, eight pages is about the most my brain can manage in a day, even with virtually unlimited time. And eight pages a day over three days is a nice amount of writing, but it's nowhere near three chapters!

So, I've been making good progress since Friday and at NaNo-style pace, but not enough to get to The End any time soon. I'm starting to think maybe by Thanksgiving. Which would give me something to be truly thankful for.

1procrastolate v. -s, -ed, -ing to percolate a half-formed thought to brilliance under the guise of procrastination. (Definition stolen from Lacey's blog.)

Friday, November 10, 2006

The End Is Near!

No, not of the world. I speak, of course, of the end of my book.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. "Jacqueline, if the end of your book is near, you should be writing it, not blogging!" And you're right. Which is why I'm going to keep this short and sweet.

My progress meter1, as you may have noticed, has been moving steadily from left to right. Not necessarily quickly, but steadily. I had a couple of NaNo quality days this past week and a couple of more typical ones, for a total of 6,000 words in the past four days.

I have what should be an excellent three-day weekend for writing ahead of me. The holiday today means I don't have to accomplish any "real" work (although I have three kids home from school, which isn't exactly conducive!), so I can write all day, kid-related interruptions aside. In addition, my husband is tied up in a Cub Scout training program tonight and most of the day tomorrow, and then on Sunday, he's taking both of the boys to the NHRA drag racing finals in Pomona. I normally don't dedicate any time to writing on the weekends because it's usually "family" time, but when my husband can't be with us, I feel perfectly sanguine about letting the kids play with each other and friends all day while I pound feverishly on the keyboard.

I originally committed myself to writing The End by this Sunday night, but I'm not sure now I can pull it off. It seems I have more story to write than I thought when I promised myself that. (Which is scary when you're already well over 100,000 words, but that's another story altogether.) I'm still going to give it my best shot, but it might be more realistic to project next Tuesday as "D-Day"2. Lucky me, I have jury duty and expect to spend most of the day in the jury lounge, banging away at my laptop3.

Before I sign off, I want to extend a special thanks to two of my critique partners, Lacey and Darcy. Since we've all been trying to write first drafts without getting trapped in the neverending cycle of revision based on line edits (which no doubt extended the time it has taken me to get to this point in my book by weeks, if not months), we're not doing any serious critting for the time being. What we have been doing is sharing small excerpts from what we write on a daily basis and giving each other encouraging pats on the back. And I have to say, that's been enormously helpful and motivating. I know I wouldn't be anywhere near as close to the end as I am now if it weren't for that positive feedback. And I think it's working for them, too, since Darcy finished Notorious last week and Lacey's well over halfway through her first draft of If You Asked a Rake to Reform. We must be doing something right (for a change, LOL).

1I replaced the pretty progress meters from Zokotou with the much plainer picometer last week because Zokotou's site was down and my meters were therefore broken. And while I like the look of the Zokotou meters much better, the picometer is much easier to update (all I have to do is change the word count in the html code and, voila, it's updated), so I think I'm sticking with it.

2Done-Day

3Of course, if I get into a jury pool, all bets are off. Judges and bailiffs, I have learned, frown on people in the jury pool doing anything other than listening in awe to the stupefyingly, mind-numbingly boring voir dire process. And since I am never selected for juries (prosecutors somehow peg me instantly as an overeducated bleeding-heart liberal and use their peremptory challenges to dismiss me), it is a total waste of my time. But as a good citizen, I do my duty anyway.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Thank You for Voting!

It will probably be days, if not weeks, before we know the outcome of the Virginia Senate race and whether the Senate switches from Republican to Democratic hands, but today's a very good day for those of us who oppose the dangerously arrogant and incompetent Bush Administration. And since none of my votes changed that balance of power, I have to thank each and every one of you reading out there who voted in a national race in a swing state or district. You have my sincere gratitude.

As of this morning, good old Rummy has fallen on his sword, we are about to have our first woman Speaker of the House in Nancy Pelosi, Rick Santorum (aka Rick Should Be In A Sanitorium) has been soundly defeated in Pennsylvania, and the Democrats are one seat away from controlling both houses of Congress. All that's left is for Karl Rove to exit the White House in disgrace.

Yep, life is pretty sweet, folks.

Now, to finish my book by Sunday. That's my target, anyway. If I can keep up my pace for the next few days, I may just succeed. After Saturday's rather prodigious eight pages, I wrote seven pages yesterday, including a very steamy, four-alarm fire love scene that I'm exceptionally pleased with (and that doesn't happen often on the first pass!). If I can keep up my NaNo pace through the weekend, I could just make it!

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Anal Retentive Grammarian Weeps

My daughter, who is in the second grade, has been doing her homework. Tonight's homework is to practice this week's spelling and dictation sentences. When I read the last of the three sentences, I nearly gouged out my eyes. It read (and I assure you, I'm not making this up), "Which show is Mother and Father going to watch together?"

Augh, the pain! And I hasten to add that my children attend one of the very best public schools in the county. Ay yi yi!

I wrote a note to the teacher explaining that the sentence is grammatically incorrect and why. And apologized for being a frustrated English teacher.

But really, if anyone wants to know why today's children and young adults don't have a proper command of the English grammar and sentence structure, I suspect the fact that their teachers apparently haven't got one either goes a long way toward explaining it.

Oh, and a friendly reminder: tomorrow's election day. Go and boot the bastards out of office for me, will ya?

Saturday, November 04, 2006

My Own Personal NaNo Day

My husband and oldest son went camping early this morning, leaving me to my own devices for a whole day. And my own devices, by definition, include writing.

Now I haven't exactly been fast today. I started at 6:30 this morning and, fourteen hours later, I've written a little over seven pages. But then, I've been interrupted by my two other children (who thoughtlessly insist on being fed, bathed, and helped with the DVD player) on more than one occasion, had to make a trip to the grocery store and Starbucks*, and of course, the laundry and a bit of housecleaning must still get done.

But, all in all, I'm thrilled with my progress. I can smell the end. I can't quite taste it yet, but I can smell it .

If only every day could be a NaNo day! I'd be finished in no time.

*I had to go to Starbucks because my husband forbids me to operate Miss Sylvia, his precious $500 espresso machine (and rightly so, as I have no interest in learning to drive it correctly) and he had the unmitigated gall to take the single cup drip cone with him on his camping trip, thereby leaving me with no means to make a decent cup of coffee. We got rid of our drip machines years ago because we never used them.

When we first got Miss Sylvia a couple of years ago, my husband couldn't get a decent pull out of it. After many attempts, we did some research and concluded the problem was our grinder. It wasn't producing a consistent enough grind to suit the touchy new machine. My husband hemmed and hawed about spending an additional $400 on a grinder that would do the job. I finally looked at him and said, "Honey, without a good grinder, Miss Sylvia is like a very expensive prostitute you can't have sex with." Except, I used coarser words for "prostitute" and "have sex with." The next day, he ordered the grinder.

Okay, back to writing!

The Other Contest

Just looking at the "rules" for the CTRWA Contest, it dawns on me that they say finalists will be contacted by phone or e-mail "by the beginning of November". Since it's past the beginning of November and I haven't heard anything, I think it's safe to say I didn't final.

Ah, well, time to finish this baby! Only 2-3 chapters from the end, I think.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Contest Results

Well, it's official. Right before I went to bed last night, I received notification that my manuscript finished third in the Golden Rose. I was actually pretty pleased about that because, as I mentioned earlier in the week, it looks to me like I was fourth in the first round, so hey, I moved up a place, right!

But this morning I went and looked at the site and, darn it, I'm bummed because the first and second finishers both got requests for fulls from Hilary Sares at Kensington. Arrrrrr. So close!

Honestly, I was so pleased to final that I shouldn't complain. I really don't think that version of the manuscript was quite ready for prime time. It's certainly better now and, if it can get to the final round in the CONNections contest (and there are no guarantees!), it might have a realistic shot at getting a request for a full from Tessa Woodward at Avon. And I should know next week, if not before.

Congrats to Erica, whose Witness received honorable mention in the very competitive Romantic Suspense category (which had five finalists).

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Avast Ye, Mateys!

Ah, the things you discover when searching for the music from the Disney Pirates of the Caribbean ride for a Cub Scout Pack meeting!

My pirate name is:
Captain Morgan Bonney

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone
recognizes you're the one in charge. You can be a little bit
unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties,
so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Go Darcy! It's Your Birthday!

Not really. But I bet it feels better than a birthday to be finished with Notorious!

That's right, folks, at the stroke of midnight last night, Darcy finished her manuscript. She doesn't have her own blog yet so she can't make her own announcement, which means Lacey and I get to do it for her. (Lacey and I keep trying to convince her to get with the program because Blogger is so unbelievably easy, but now I'm thinking maybe she's smart not to blog. Because when I think of how many words I've blogged in the past week versus how many words of my manuscript I've written... Well, let's just say, it ain't a pretty ratio!)

So now two of my critique partners have finished their first books. (Actually, Kim and Erica both already had completed manuscripts when we started working together, so I really have four critique partners with completed books, but somehow, it's more exciting when you were there before the book was finished.) I am trying hard not to let this give me an inferiority complex. After all, I did start my book after they started their completed ones. But then there's Erica, who seems to write a complete manuscript every three months or so! I've been working on mine for nine months now.

It really is my baby, LOL!

The good news is I think I got over the hump with the scene I was having so much trouble with. It's going to need quite a bit of beefing up in revision, since right now it's basically "talking heads", but I was able to write a little over three pages yesterday (almost entirely dialogue) and I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Whew!

So, congratulations again to Darcy! Way to go, girl. You rock!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

A Little Politics to Go with Your Romance

I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a liberal. Shucks, how could I not be proud of being liberal when the word has the following definitions:
  • broad: showing or characterized by broad-mindedness; "a broad political stance"; "generous and broad sympathies"; "a liberal newspaper"; "tolerant of his opponent's opinions"
  • having political or social views favoring reform and progress
    tolerant of change; not bound by authoritarianism, orthodoxy, or tradition
  • a person who favors a political philosophy of progress and reform and the protection of civil liberties
  • big: given or giving freely; "was a big tipper"; "the bounteous goodness of God"; "bountiful compliments"; "a freehanded host"; "a handsome allowance"; "Saturday's child is loving and giving"; "a liberal backer of the arts"; "a munificent gift"; "her fond and openhanded grandfather"
  • a person who favors an economic theory of laissez-faire and self-regulating markets

I can't imagine why anyone would want to be viewed as the opposite of those things. It never ceases to amaze me that the political right has managed to redefine the word liberal to mean something bad. Or that liberals have accepted this redefinition and now try to call themselves progressives instead.

Because I'm an unabashed liberal, I'm awaiting the upcoming midterm elections with more hope and optimism than I've had about the political process in years. But that doesn't mean I expect to get much pleasure out of my own trip to the polls next Tuesday. Because even though I live in a blue state (California), I live in a red district (the 52nd) within a red county (San Diego).

I have, heaven help me, Duncan Hunter, the father of the 700-mile border fence and head of the Armed Services Committee who famously tried to force the military to limit women's role in combat, as my Congressional representative. And despite the Republicans' troubles nationally, Hunter will win my district by a landslide even though I'll be voting for his Democratic opponent, John Rinaldi.

Yesterday, Hunter announced that he'd formed an exploratory committee to make a bid for the presidency in 2008. Heh, the Democratic party can only hope he gets the nomination, because if John McCain gets it, the Democrats could nominate God himself and not win.

But the lack of the competition in my district's congressional race is just the tip of the iceberg. The governator is well on his way to his first full term in a landslide and, while I can't vote for the man because the way he says "California" makes me cringe and he's got serious sensitivity problems, the guy has pretty much reinvented himself as a Democrat in Republican's clothing. I'll be voting for Angelides, but I know it's purely symbolic.

Because my district is heavily Republican, all the state senate and assembly races will go to Republicans. The high school district board will probably remain in the hands of the right wing nutjobs who've been running it for years. I'm also pretty certain that none of the ballot measures I'm voting in favor of will pass and equally convinced that the ones I'm voting against will. It almost always turns out that way.

Of course, I'll vote anyway. Even if my vote won't have much affect on the final outcome, if I don't vote, I'm not expressing my liberal values. I figure at worst, I'm letting the politicians I didn't vote for know that people who don't like their policies exist.

But oh, how I wish for once in my life I lived somewhere with a competitive race. I'm envious of the voters in places like Pennsylvania, Missouri, and Ohio. And I really hope those folks appreciate just how much their vote matters this year. Because those of us who can't make a difference are counting on them not to let us down.